Sage In The Meadow

It’s the beginning of a brand new year, the time when many of us are buzzing with new goals, resolutions and dreams for the future. That’s usually me as well, but for the first time in a long time, I don’t have any serious New Year’s resolutions.

In years past, I would glumly review the previous year, evaluate all the ways that I had failed at my goals and pledge to remedy them in the coming new year. For me, the new year always came with a feeling of dread, and fear of the unknown. I think I might have confused “end of the year” with “end of the world”. But the last couple of months of 2021 were such a whirlwind of events and emotions, that I wasn’t left with much of an opportunity to think so far ahead. Maybe that’s why this year, when the clock struck midnight, 2022, those old feelings weren’t there. It came as a bit of a shock to me when I actually felt calm. Perhaps it was due to the tumultuous couple of years we have all endured that lead me to a state of apathy, but I’d still like to give myself at least a little credit for this new outlook.

The other day, I was writing in my journal, and I wrote down these words, “It wasn’t what we planned, but it all worked out in the end, which is a recurring theme in my life.” I could list a hundred, maybe even a thousand times in my life, where I had envisioned something to go one way, when it ended up going in a complete different direction. Even though it wasn’t what I had planned, somehow, it still worked out. I usually try to view those moments with humor, and not take it to heart, but I was astounded when I realized how accurate that statement was–in all aspects of my life. So my resolution this year is not to plan so rigidly that my world may crumble if things don’t happen, just so. I could use the term, “go with the flow”, though that phrase is a little overused and doesn’t entirely convey what I mean. Another way to put it is, “trust the process”, which, for me, is trusting in the Lord.

You know the bible verse that says, “His ways are higher than our ways”? I’ve probably read it a dozen times, but I think it has finally struck a cord in me. I think it’s God’s way of letting us know that when something goes wrong, it’s still part of the “grand plan”, so to speak. It doesn’t mean that we should just give up on our plans, or our dreams. To me, it says that we don’t need to agonize so much over the future. It can be very intimidating to consider all the steps that will lead us from point A to point B, or ultimately Z. What I realized is that, right now, in this moment, even if my day goes awry I can still do small, even seemingly tedious things that can eventually lead to bigger things. My goal is to become a published author. Right now that prospect seems so very big, and scary. I don’t even have a polished manuscript yet that I can consider publishable, but I’m not going to fret over all of that. What I can do right now, and most importantly, is to simply–write. Sounds like a no-brainer, but contrary to popular belief, that’s a whole lot easier said than done.

In other words, I’m telling myself to take a metaphorical, deep breath. Relax. I can’t skip to the end. I have to follow the path that is laid out before me, and however that turns out in the end is anyone’s guess. But I have decided to walk that path calmly, with a joyful heart, and most importantly, trust the process. Life doesn’t happen in leaps and bounds, it happens one day at a time. The sun rises, and the sun sets, again and again. I think we should live as the sun does. Each day we are given a chance to simply try our best. And if we wake up on a cloudy day, that’s okay too. We can try again the next day, and the next, and the next, for as long as the world keeps turning.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

Thanks for reading,

Lady S